Good afternoon, sir. If I may introduce myself,
I, sir, am Thaddeus Blocher, and I, sir, am a soul broker. You look dubious, and rightly so. Let me explain.
I manage souls. If you have a moral dilemma, I’ll take care of it. Need something to be a little easier
or for your luck to be just a little bit better? Or maybe even a whole lot better? I can do that, too.
Your soul, sir, is a valuable commodity. Many
people don’t realize just how valuable it is. And many people are willing to sell it for well below market
value. Why? Because they didn’t trust such a valuable commodity to a professional. And
I, sir, am that professional.
Let me ask
you this, sir. How much money did your soul make for you last year? Just what I thought: Nothing. And
you, sir, are no different than the vast majority of people living in the world. But, sir, I will tell you this: You
can work for your soul, or your soul can work for you.
I, sir, am prepared to make you the best deal on your soul, whether that be timeshare, lease with option to buy,
rental, or an array of both short and long term options. I am determined to find what works best for you, to make
you the best deal on your soul.
you may still be dubious. But you may rest assured that we are fully licensed and bonded. Still, to
show you, sir, that I am not trying to pressure you into a decision you don’t want to make or would regret later, or
a choice that would not be right for you, I will not let you make a decision today. No, sir, you heard me right. I
will not allow you to decide without thoroughly considering your decision. For after all, this very well be one
of the most important decisions you ever will make.
Therefore, I am going to leave you with my card. And, sir, if the temptation overcomes you to find out just
exactly what your soul is worth, just pick up the phone and give me a call. You will be under no obligation.