Not very many people hitchhike anymore. I
used to hitchhike a lot when I lived out in Oregon. But then it got to where no one would give you a ride.
They were all scared. You see, there was this sadistic dude out there who used to pick up hitchhikers
and then kill them. Only he didn’t just kill them. Like there was this lady.
He disemboweled her with a clothes hanger. Man...a clothes hanger. Can you imagine
that? They say she must’ve taken three days to die. I say it was more like four.
And they found these two people. It took them a week to figure out whose body parts were whose.
Some sick stuff, man.
You’re afraid of me? Man, I ain’t gonna kill you. Not while we’re
goin’ 70 miles per hour. I mean, have you ever thought how hard it would be to kill someone while
you’re driving? Oh, sure, I could shoot you. But do you know how loud that is?
I mean, I’d blow both of our ear drums out. Of course, I guess it wouldn’t matter much
to you. And then there’s the bullet. If you use a small caliber, it might not
kill you--not right away. And a large caliber is likely to go clean through you. What
a mess. Not to mention the window. It’s cold out there. I don’t
want to blow out my window. Besides, I ain’t got no gun. A knife would even be
worse. You’d never get the blood out of the seats and the carpet. I mean, I’ve
seen enough cop shows on TV. You’d have to get rid of your car. Burning it would
be best. But I like my car. The thrill of killing somebody is not worth my car.
And everything else pretty much takes two hands. I mean, you’d have to be one strong dude
to strangle somebody while you’re driving. No, dude. You’ve got nothing
to worry about. That is, as long as we keep moving.