The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings
Word of the Every So Often
cavernous: (adj.) not unexpectantly, like a cavern; giving the impression of a whole lot of emptiness. As long as the president stays quiet it isn’t quite so obvious how cavernous his mental acuity really is.
In the Way Back
It was on this day in 1957 that Plan 9 from Outer Space was released. Among others it stared Bela Lugosi and Vampira. The plot is inspired: Aliens are trying to take over the world by resurrecting corpses from a Hollywood cemetery. Bad sets, bad dialogue, bad plot, and just about everything else considered bad in a movie all come together to make this what many consider the worst movie ever made. Sure, there have been a lot of bad movies (Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Battlefield Earth, Jack and Jill, Jaws: The Revenge, and on and on). Indeed there are so many bad movies that it’s hard to find a good one that you haven’t already seen, probably multiple times, because it is good. But, in the end, it’s all subjective. So don’t take our word for it. Create your own list of bad movies and watch them all. And then you’ll know. And, as GI Joe says, “Knowing is half the battle.” The other half, of course, is killing everybody. Go Joe. Now there’s a good movie... GI Joe.
Cartoon of the Week
“How do you spell that?”
Stuff
Seeing the Dead
The dead are easy to see
once you get the hang of it.
At first you can just barely see them
out of the corner of your eye.
Remember when you thought you saw something
that wasn’t there?
Yep, that was a dead guy.
With practice you can get good at it.
The secret’s in not trying at all.
But take my word for it,
it’s not really worth the effort.
Once you do it,
it sort of becomes an obsession.
You start looking for them everywhere.
For the most part,
they’re exactly where you’d expect them to be:
In the graveyard just sitting on their tombstones,
smoking cigarettes and staring at their watches.
All of them with nothing to say.
It’s like some demented remake of Our Town
that has no point.
But then you start to see them in other places, too,
like walking around in the mall
or waiting for a show at the theatre.
Just this morning
I saw a dead man standing on the side of the road,
smoking a cigarette with his coat across his arm.
He was like one of those hitchhikers
who doesn’t even bother to put his thumb in the air,
because he knows eventually somebody’s going to stop,
and even then he’s not in any hurry.
And that dead guy,
he gave me the look.
That, “Yeah, you,” look.
But there’s no way I’m going to stop.
I won’t even stop for a live guy.
What makes him think I’d stop for him?
Besides, I’m not going that far.
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