The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings
Word of the Every So Often
hortatory: (adj.) (pronounced: hor-tah-tory) tending or aiming to exhort, and, of course, “exhort” means to strongly encourage somebody to do something. So when you exhort, you’re actually doing it, but when you are being hortatory, you are getting ready to do it. Such as... We received the hortatory letter from the store telling us that our check had bounced. As opposed to... The store exhorted us to pay our bill or they would call the cops.
Everyday History
On October 28, 1868, Thomas Edison filed for his very first patent, the one for his electrographic vote recorder, which he received on June 1, 1869. The machine was designed to register votes in Congress faster. Pretty much, a congressman would push a button and his vote was recorded. Just like that. However, the machine was never used, not out of fear of fraud, but because it was too fast. Congressmen (sorry, there wouldn’t be congresswomen until Montana Republican Jeanette Rankin was elected in 1916 – four years before women had the vote) Let’s see... where was I... Oh, yeah. Congressmen argued that Edison’s machine was too fast. And if things in Congress went quickly, then they might not be able to use procedural delays to stall unwanted legislation, and they very well couldn’t have that. Edison learned his lesson, vowing from that day forward to never invent anything that the public didn’t want... or wouldn’t want.
Ironically, beginning in 1973 Congress began using electronic voting, just like Edison’s. When a vote is called by the presiding officer, congressmen and women have a set amount of time to vote. They simply go to one of the various voting stations around the House Chambers, insert their coded ID card, and then they choose one of three buttons: Yea, Nay, or Present. Their vote is then shown on an electronic display board. They use electronic voting because it’s quicker.
And now for today’s trivia, because, after all, that’s why you learn stuff. The electronic vote recorder was Edison’s first of 1,093 US patents that he held. His last patent, on December 17, 1929, was for making rubber from plants, specifically goldenrod. And whereas that’s a lot of patents, it’s not even close to the world record, which as of the 2025 edition of the Guiness Book of World Records stands at 20,120 by Japanese inventor Shunpei Yamazaki. It’s probably more by now.
Cartoon of the Week
"Be one of us. Be one of us."
Stuff
The Dust of Bones
Tonight is the night
when the dust of bones
beneath cold tombstones
Remembers.
They remember.
They remember when
their bones had skin.
And they weren’t buried
quite so deep.
They remember how
their fingers could prove
that dirt can move.
And they’re not buried
quite so deep.
And they remember just why
they shouldn’t’ve died.
And they’re not buried
quite so deep.
And they remember where –
the alleys and the streets,
the course of their feet,
the light and the laughter inside.
And they’re not buried
quite at all!
And know that when –
when the dust of bones
returns to their stones,
they never return alone.
Contact Us
Comments? Criticism? Insults? Money Orders?
Earl, our editor, wants to hear from you!
(But that doesn't necessarily mean you'll hear from him.)
Send your messages or bank account information to: