The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings
Word of the Every So Often​
alternative facts: (noun phrase) a sillyism for talking about the opposite of facts as if you were still telling the truth; delusion; double-plus untruth. This term comes to us from Kellyanne Conway, a former counselor to Trump during his first presidency, when, back in January of 2017 she tried to cover for the blatant lie by Trump press secretary Sean Spicer concerning the amount of people who weren’t at Trump’s inaugeration. As Chuck Todd, the moderator of Meet the Press, stated to Ms. Conway, “Alternative facts are not facts. They are falsehoods.”
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The Almost Daily
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Today is National Get Over It Day. Yes, other people can definitely be to blame for messing up your life… you mother, your old girlfriend, your cat. But there comes a time when you really have to accept that it is no longer their fault that your life sucks, but yours for not moving on. And today is as good a day as any to move on. Or, as the Buddha very well may have said, "You gotta let that shit go." However! If those other people are still messing up your life, then what you’re looking for is the first Tuesday in November... Election Day. Or, perhaps, October 16: National Fuck Off Day.
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Cartoon of the Week
STUFF
The Ballad of King Bob and His Horse Bill
This is the story of Wise King Bob
and his stead and companion Bill.
They rode not to pillage and rob.
Rode not to murder and kill.
They rode through country and county.
They rode o’er hill and dale
in search of the sacred bounty,
in search of the Holy Grail.
They traveled through wind, snow, and rain,
through mud and sleet and hail,
through locusts and plagues, untold of pain,
Chevrolet lug nuts and two-penny nails.
Through blackened night and driving sands,
blizzards and buzzards and hoary frost,
through Krsnas and Vishnus and bad rock bands,
and cold spaghetti without any sauce.
For seventeen years they traveled this way,
until finally Bill had had enough.
He sat down on the road to stay,
and said, “Boss, it’s time to get off.”
Said Bill, “My hooves are tired. My back is sore.
I’m ready to go back home.
If you want to carry on some more,
you’ll have to carry on alone.”
Good King Bob would not falter.
He continued on his quest.
So Bill laid down his halter
and returned to his home in the west.
When Bill arrived at the castle,
how the subjects did dance and sing.
Being without a king was a hassle,
so they made a horse their king.
King Bob traveled on many a year more,
‘till one day at a church rummage sale,
in a discount pile on the floor
Good King Bob found the Holy Grail.
Good King Bob, his quest complete
returned the way he came.
Bill gladly gave back the Royal Seat.
To the people it was the same.
And the Holy Grail... it came to rest
beneath a leaky window pane.
And there it does its very best
to collect the falling rain.
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