The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings

Word of the Every So Often
chiton: (noun) (pronounced: ky-ton) It’s either a long, woolen tunic that the old dead guys used to wear in ancient Greece, or it’s a type of mollusk, or it could be a chiton in a chiton.
The Almost Daily
It’s Star Wars Day... You know, May the Fourth be with you.... And that means it's also National Annoying Day! Because nothing is more annoying than a bunch of people dressed in Star Wars costumes trying to pretend that the series shouldn’t’ve quit after the first movie. Well, I can think of a lot of things that are more annoying than that. On the scale of things to be annoyed by, I’d say it ranks well below the federal government. But, yeah. Today it's OK to annoy other people. It's also National Get Your Ass Kicked Day, a day where it's not OK to annoy other people. However… if you don't want to be annoying, and you don't want your ass kicked, and you don’t give a pizzle stick about Star Wars, then maybe it would be best to go with Bird Day. It's just a day to celebrate birds. That's it. There's no need to count. It's not any bird in particular. It's just… birds. Just don’t annoy them.
Cartoon of the Week

Still No Zombies
Stuff
Playing Hide and Seek with Birds
Hide and Seek is the only game
that birds are willing to play.
Be warned:
They do not play fair.
They hide too well.
And they stay hidden long after it’s obvious
they’re not going to be found.
They don’t even come out for Olly Olly Oxen Free,
or whatever you’re supposed to yell.
Like it matters!
And why do I have to be “It” every time?
That’s not the way to play the game!
Comon!
We’re supposed to take turns!
Don’t they know the whole point of the game
is to be found?
To be found almost immediately
in the same silly place you always hide,
so you can run across the lawn laughing
with absolutely no chance of ever getting back
safely to a base that doesn’t matter?
Two can play at this game!
If they won’t play fair,
then neither will I.
I’m not going to count anymore.
I’m not going to hide my eyes.
And I’m not yelling “Ready or not”
or anything.
Not until the birds take their turns at being “It.”
And then they can come find me.
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