The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings
Word of the Every So Often
inviolable: (adj.) (pronounced: in-vi-oh-lah-bull) never to be broken, infringed, or dishonoured. We always believed that one’s service to her or his country was inviolable... until the president taught us differently.
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The Almost Daily
It’s National Root Canal Appreciation Day. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate my teeth not hurting, but you’re going to be hard pressed to find a whole lot of people who are excited about root canals. Granted, you might appreciate having one after it’s done. After all, having teeth that work is a good thing. But getting that root canal... yeah. The “holiday” was invented by a dentist… like that comes as a surprise – Dr. Chris Krammer. It very well could’ve been on this day in 2005 that Dr. Krammer got 5,991 people to simultaneously brush their teeth at a collegiate baseball game. That record has since been beaten by baseball fans in El Salvadore. And, really, baseball and teeth brushing make sense. They both involve spitting. So here at the Press we urge you all to brush, floss, and then brush again, and maybe you’ll never have to appreciate a root canal.
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Cartoon of the Week
Bear With Me
Stuff
One Fine Day in the Mid-Nineteenth Century
Deep in the Woods of British Columbia
– a very short play –
Setting: A clearing in the woods.
At curtain the clearing is empty, but filled with the sounds of birds.
Enter Left Sir Richard along with his trusty companion, Peter, pushing their way out of the undergrowth. They cross to Center.
Sir Richard: (excitedly pointing up into a tree) There! There! Mark it down, my good man. A new species of bird! I think I'll call it a Tit.
Peter: And a fine name it is, Sir Richard. But what kind of tit?
Sir Richard: And right you are, Peter. Bloody well done. As you know, there can be lots of different kinds of tits. And it is our duty to see them all!
Peter: Indeed, but what shall we name this one?
Sir Richard: It was in the bush, so I say it's a Bushtit.
Peter: Brilliant!
Sir Richard: Now doesn't that just make you giggle? Like the Dickcissel. Now there's a silly name. After all, it's not a truly good name if it's not just a tad bit silly, too, now, is it? Now let's be off, and if we're really lucky, we'll find a pecker or two before nightfall. And maybe even a cock! And tomorrow... boobies!
Exit Right Sir Richard and Peter into the undergrowth.
Curtain.
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