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Word of the Every So Often

kingbolt: (noun) Imagine an old-fashioned trailer that hooks onto a truck with a thick metal rod inserted through a heavy eye bolt. Yeah. The thick metal rod is a kingbolt. It allows the trailer to turn. Kingbolts are also found on trains, but can be found in roof trusses.

The Daily Lesson

It was on August 4, 1693, or so the story goes, that a French Benedictine monk named Dom Pérignon invented champagne. OK. He really didn’t invent champagne, and today probably marks nothing special in the creation of the sparkling white wine, but it’s as good a day as any to celebrate the creation of champagne. Dom Pérignon was a real person, and he did make wine, beginning in 1668. I mean, after all, he’s a monk and monks drink wine. And he was quite innovative, helping to refine the process of a second fermentation in the bottle. That’s where a sugar and yeast mixture is added to a wine bottle and then resealed with a special cap so it won’t explode. The yeast eats the sugar and farts bubbles. Voilà! Sparkling wine. However, Dom Pérignon didn’t want the bubbles.

And, no, the famous champagne so loved by Bond and everybody else who can afford it was not actually named by the Benedictine monk. The Champagne house Moët & Chandon came up with the champagne, and the name, in 1921. If the local bistro has a bottle of Dom Pérignon, and you are so inclined, be prepared to spend anywhere from $250 to $400 for that bottle, more if it’s a particularly good year.

And finally, as we are reminded in such classic movies as Wayne’s World, true champagne only comes from the Champagne region of northeastern France. All other “champagnes” are just sparkling white wine.

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The History of the Future: The End of Inventions

It was in June of 2336 that Professor Noland Marvin published his thoroughly comprehensive History of Everything Ever Invented. The book immediately became a standard reference for the International Patent and Copyright Office. Whenever somebody thought she had a novel idea, the IPCO would simply cross-reference it with Dr. Marvin’s History and confirm that it wasn’t novel in the least. In fact, it was quickly discovered that nothing new was left to invent. On March 18, 2337, the IPCO received its last query ever. That invention, too, had been thought of before.

Perhaps coincidentally, it was also in March of 2337 that MindFlix, the largest supplier of media on the planet, stopped suggesting what viewers might like to watch. They just told them what they were going to watch. And nobody seemed to mind, because, after all, it was really what they wanted to watch anyway.

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