The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings
Word of the Every So Often
anthroparian: (adj.) human, or having human traits. Larry may be anthroparian, but I wouldn’t necessarily call him a human.
Everyday History
It was on November 1, 1513, that Michaelangelo’s rendition of the Sistine Chapel opened for the first public viewing. It wasn’t just a coincidence that it opened on All Saints Day. Pope Julius II planned it that way so everybody could see Michaelangelo’s masterpiece. It took 8 years to build the actual chapel, from 1473 to 1871. Painting the ceiling, which is what the Pope was celebrating in 1513, took Michaelangelo 4 years. That’s a lot of time lying on your back with paint dripping in your face.
Michaelangelo wasn’t the only guy painting the Chapel, in particular, Sandro Botticelli, Pietro Perugino, and Domenico Ghirlandaio whipped out the side-wall frescoes in just two years, from 1481 to 1482. “The Last Judgment” fresco, which is behind the altar, took Michaelangelo another six years to complete, from 1535 to 1541. I mean, the guy’s good, but he is slow.
Although the cost of building the Sistine Chapel was not documented, the price they paid for the artwork on the ceiling is. Michealangelo received the modern equivalent of around $750,000 for the ceiling. Of course, that covered all of his expenses, including assistants.
If you ever want to see the Sistine Chapel... and, I mean, why wouldn’t you? Be prepared for crowds. It’s one of the most visited sites in the world. Upwards to 5 million visitors go there every year. And now it’s math time! The Chapel is open 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, and 5 hours on the last Sunday of every month. Judiciously rounding up, that comes to around 4,000 hours a year, which means there would be around 67 people an hour, which means you’d have right at a minute before it’s time to move on.
Although Mass is still celebrated in the Sistine Chapel, it’s not something the normal Antonio could drop in on. It’s only for special occasions, like when the conclave all gets together, or the first Mass of the new pope. If you want to go to Mass with the Pope, you’ll have to go to St. Peter’s Basilica... assuming he’s giving Mass on any particular Sunday. It’s free, but you will need tickets to get inside, and you’d better arrive early to get through security. However, Michaelangelo has no artwork in St. Peter’s Basilica
Cartoon of the Week
Stuff
The History of the Future: The Sanity Shift
It was the 2030 Census that verified, indeed, that there were now more people in the Untied States who were clinically insane than those who were not. And it was in 2032 that the Supreme Court ruled that, by definition, “normal” was decided by the majority. Therefore, what once was considered to be crazy, was now the norm, and those who once were considered sane should now be considered extremely dangerous. Institutionalization was recommended. Speaking for the majority, Chief Justice Bidwell stated, “Shut up! I’ll kill you all! What are you looking at?”
Few “insane” people were ever locked up, though, because they quickly went underground. After all, it is a lot easier to pretend you’re yelling at somebody who isn’t there than to pretend you’re not. They learned to identify each other with secret signals, and would often meet clandestinely, so, as one member recalled, “We could just sit around and be quiet without anybody yelling at us or trying to take away our socks.”
One of the things that the new majority insisted on doing was driving, which had long been a privilege of the sane. By 2037, mostly because of all the people who had been run over, many of whom where indoors, it was determined that those people who had recently been in the majority no longer were. And once again, the definition of “sane” was revised to the pre-2030 status.
See, as well, the Shift of 2088, 2129, 2173, and 2222.
Contact Us
Comments? Criticism? Insults? Money Orders?
Earl, our editor, wants to hear from you!
(But that doesn't necessarily mean you'll hear from him.)
Send your messages or bank account information to: