September 18, 1975 A lot was changing in America and throughout the world in the 1960s and into the early ‘70s, and a lot of it came in the form of rebellion. People, mostly young people, were rising up against all sorts of things. At the forefront was the Vietnam War, but Civil Rights were right up there, too, along with Women’s Rights, and outrage against capitalism and poverty, and just about anything else worth being upset about. And, of course, the best way to promulgate change is by blowing stuff up. Lighting the fuse were such groups as the Weather Underground, the Black Liberation Army, and the Symbionese Liberation Army, which became the most famous of them all. They had gained some notoriety by assassinating a school superintendent, but nothing could match kidnapping 19 year old Patty Hearst on February 4, 1974, who was the daughter of Randolf Hearst, the billionaire owner of the Hearst Corporation, one of the largest publishing firms in the world. What the SLA wanted was for the Hearst Corporation to feed the poor. Randolf Hearst tried to comply, but his initial effort was a logistical nightmare, leading to the SLA eventually demanding over $400 million worth of groceries. And then it all became moot when Patty Hearst announced that she had changed her name to Tania and joined the SLA on April 3, 1974, just two months after being captured. Less than 10 days later, on April 15, she helped the SLA hold up the Hibernia Bank in San Francisco. Then she was the getaway driver when they robbed the Crocker National Bank in Carmichael on April 21, in which a customer was shot and killed. While on the run, the group, along with Patty, would steal cars, often kidnapping the drivers. On May 17, 1974, the police tracked the SLA down to South Los Angeles apartment, and in the ensuing two hour gunbattle and fire that involved over 500 law enforcement officers, six members of the SLA were killed, including their leader, Donald DeFreeze. Hearst, though, was not there. On September 18, 1975, Patty Hearst was finally captured by the FBI. Among the charges were armed bank robbery, felonious use of a firearm, and being involved in a shootout. Patty Hearst’s lawyer, F. Lee Bailey – the best that money could buy – argued that Hearst had been brainwashed and was suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome, which the jury didn’t buy. She was found guilty of bank robbery and sentenced to seven years in prison, which seems rather light... considering. She only served 22 months of that sentenced, being pardoned by President Carter on January 29, 1979. She later received a full pardon from President Clinton in 2001. I’m sure all that leniency had nothing to do with her father being a billionaire. In the years following her release, Hearst married and had two children. She’s also written an autobiography, done some acting, and shows dogs. Normal people stuff. She’s currently living in New York. In the end, nothing really came of the whole Symbionese Liberation Army affair. There were no lasting changes, and Hearst didn’t even serve serious time. It did introduce the idea of the Stockholm Syndrome, but even that’s been met with mixed reviews. The SLA was a violent group that came to a violent end, and, truly, nothing else.

September 19, 1995 It was on September 19, 1995, that Talk Like a Pirate Day was celebrated for the first time. The idea first came about on June 6, 1995, when two guys, John “Ol’ Chumbuucket” Baur and Mark “Cap’n Slappy” Summers were playing racquet ball and one of them said “Arrrr” in pain. And then they both started talking like pirates. Maybe. Pirates are the most honest people. Instead of celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day on June 6, out of respect for the anniversary of D-Day they moved it to September 19, Summer’s ex-wife’s birthday. In 2002 columnist Dave Barry came across the idea and gave it national coverage. And it’s still being celebrated! It’s the one day of the year where you can talk like a pirate and have a good explanation for doing so, one where everybody else won’t think you’re too nuts. So plug your bung hole you lubber, and fetch the brass monkey before its balls freeze off, or you’ll join Davy Jones after paying ye dues to Jack Ketch! Aye! There’ll be no booty for ye! Arrr! Translated: Put a cork in the rum barrel, you person who prefers land, and bring in the cannon ball holder before the cold weather causes the brass to contract, which would cause the cannon balls to fall off, or we’ll throw your dead body off the side of the ship after you’ve been hanged by the hangman, and you can forget any cut of the plunder. Pardon me while I clear my throat.