Ask any father. He’ll tell you. Father’s
Day is a crock. Oh, sure, you get a tie, but to a dad, a tie is like giving your mother a vacuum.
You see, the thing is, Father’s Day is in the summer, and Mother’s Day is during the school year.
So moms get all the fun stuff that the kids make, like homemade cards or baby food jars filled with water and glitter.
Fathers get doodley. What we need is a holiday that we can appreciate, one where we get to sit around
and drink beer and watch sports... well... other than the Super Bowl, or the World Series, or Nascar, or any given weekend
from, say, August through February, or March through July.
Even the history of Father’s Day is a crock. For instance, President Woodrow
Wilson signed Mother’s Day into law. Who do the fathers get? Richard Nixon.
And even at that, it was Johnson who, in 1966, “declared that the third Sunday in June would be Father's Day.”
Nixon only signed it into law in 1972 to help with his re-election... and we all know how well that presidency went.
(Honor Your Father... At Least Once a Year)
the only reason Father’s Day exists at all is because of Mother’s Day. Oh, sure, you can say
it stems from the memorial service in Monongah, West Virginia, following a mining accident in 1907 that killed a whole bunch
of men, many of whom happened to be fathers (which, curiously enough, often seems to be the case when a large group of men
get killed). Or you can credit a lady named Sonora Smart Dodd, who, along with her five brothers and sisters
were raised solely by her father when her mother died in the early part of the 20th century. But
even Dodd was inspired by Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day. (Father's Day in United States)
In 1909 Dodd began her campaign in her home town of Spokane, Washington,
and by the following year succeeded in getting Washington State to recognize “...the nation’s first statewide
Father’s Day on July 19, 1910.” (Father’s Day) And from there, the holiday spread...
slowly. President Wilson observed the day in 1916 by unfurling a flag in Spokane by pressing a button in
Washington, D.C., a technological feat for the time. In 1924, still well short of a national holiday, “President
Calvin Coolidge made it a national event to ‘establish more intimate relations between fathers and their children and
to impress upon fathers the full measure of their obligations.’" (Honor Your Father... At Least Once a Year)
You know, guys, it’s pretty pathetic that we need a presidential proclamation to remind us to take care of our
But then, probably the biggest obstacle
in recognizing Father’s Day was the fathers. I mean, we are talking guys here. “As
one historian writes, they ‘scoffed at the holiday’s sentimental attempts to domesticate manliness with flowers
and gift-giving, or they derided the proliferation of such holidays as a commercial gimmick to sell more products –
often paid for by the father himself.’” (Father’s Day)
Even so, the idea of Father’s Day continued to grow, surviving the well meaning attempts in
the ‘20s and ‘30s to scrap the day altogether, along with Mother’s Day, in favour of just one single holiday,
Parents’ Day, based on the idea “‘that both parents should be loved and respected together.’”
(Father’s Day) But any kid, and every retailer, knows that if you share a holiday with somebody else,
like having your birthday fall on Christmas, then you get shafted on your presents. And even during the
Depression, or maybe especially because of the Depression, retailers weren’t about to get behind any holiday that limited
their sales. By the time WWII engulfed the United States, even though Father’s Day still wasn’t
a nationally declared holiday, it might as well have been. And with the War, it became a way to honor those
men in uniform. (Father’s Day)
Since 1972, Father’s Day has been an official national holiday. Even
so, it’s still hard to get excited about it. I mean, let’s face it: Nobody’s
going to buy dad a corsage, he’s not going to wear a new dress to church, and it’s doubtful that he’s even
going to go out to lunch on that Sunday afternoon. Sure, he’ll get some phone calls if his children
can remember, but for the most part, it’s just another Sunday. And since it’s in the summer,
the lawn probably needs to be mowed... by dad.
“Father’s Day.” 2012. History.com.
15 Aug. 2012. http://www.history.com/topics/fathers-day
“Father's Day in United States.” 2012. timeanddate.com.
15 Aug. 2012. http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/fathers-day
Father... At Least Once a Year.” June 2003. Wise Guide. 15 Aug. 2012. http://www.loc.gov/wiseguide/jun03/father.html
The Employee's Creed
I am an employee.
I work for the corporation
because they chose to hire me,
I chose to be hired by them.
I am an employee.
I will come in whenever
I am told,
stay as late as they demand,
and do whatever they want for as long as I am there.
And if I should
I will be replaced immediately with no recourse whatsoever.
am an employee.
I may stand next to the Company President
and nod knowingly
as all the stockholders look on,
smiling their approval and appreciation upon me.
Or I might spend my days
hiding in the break room,
jelly donuts while waiting
for yet another pot of coffee to brew
and the end of the day to arrive,
And still I will be
nothing more than an employee.
I should conceive and create
an object so brilliant and so fascinating
that all humankind will set
aside their differences
and the entire planet will join together in harmony,
it will still remain the property of
who may or may not ever give me recognition
for what I have done.
For I will still be
more than an employee.