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280 Dog Years


The Holy Grail Press is dedicated to promoting work that standard publishers... you know, those with standards, might be reluctant to publish, which pretty much leaves poetry.  And let's face it:  No one publishes poetry.  So in the end, we’re left with a lot of free time.



Word of the Every So Often  

May 27, 2022

wonk:  (noun)  often used derogatorily, a person who takes a particularly specialized interest in the minute details of a field of study, especially with politics.  You want to know about the influence of Russian immigrants on the passage of the infrastructure bill?  Then just ask Bill, he's our resident wonk.


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...What's Old at the Press 

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Friday, January 23, 2015

The First Continental Congress Trading Cards

Ladies and Gentlemen, what we have next is the official First Edition of the Continental Congress trading cards.  As I’m sure you all already know, this is the real thing, authenticated by Lloyd’s and re-certified by the American Union of Trading Cards.

These trading cards, issued in 1775 by the Southerbury Printing Press out of Boston, Massachusetts, are the only know completely intact set of any of the much coveted Continental Congress trading cards.  As a side note, Southerbury, who hand printed each card, was a close friend to Benjamin Franklin, and the design is said to bear the distinctive hand of none other than Mr. Franklin, but, I must attest, that fact has not been verified. 

This is the complete series, Ladies and Gentlemen.  It is said to contain the never-before-seen Betsy Ross card, as well as the card that depicts Washington crossing the Delaware that later paintings are said to be based on, and even contains the bubble gum that was handmade by Mrs. Southerbury. 

As you can understand, the contents inside the package have not been examined, as that would substantially lessen their value.  In fact, the pack cannot even be viewed, to protect it from light damage, and it cannot be weighed, as that might disturb the delicate molecular structure of these very old trading cards.  You are, though, welcome to examine the hermetically sealed box that they are stored in.  Bidding will start at $125,000.

10:15 am pst 

Lunatic Monologues:  Your Neighbor to the North

Hello, neighbor.  Caulfield’s my name.  I’m your neighbor to the north.  Just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.  I raise snakes.  It’s a hobby.  I’ve crossed a cobra with a chameleon.  You won’t see her until she bites you.  They hardly ever escape, but if you happen to see one, just give me a call.

10:13 am pst 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

A Public Service from the Holy Grail Press:

How to tell if you have too much money: 


#1.  There's a helicopter sitting on top of your yacht.

2:55 pm pst 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015


Carl knew there was no getting around it.  This was his bear to cross.  

10:22 am pst 

chirp cheep cluck quack squawk
twitter chitter flitter groak
caw coo hoot honk awk

10:21 am pst 

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