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280 Dog Years


The Holy Grail Press is dedicated to promoting work that standard publishers... you know, those with standards, might be reluctant to publish, which pretty much leaves poetry.  And let's face it:  No one publishes poetry.  So in the end, we’re left with a lot of free time.



Word of the Every So Often  

May 27, 2022

wonk:  (noun)  often used derogatorily, a person who takes a particularly specialized interest in the minute details of a field of study, especially with politics.  You want to know about the influence of Russian immigrants on the passage of the infrastructure bill?  Then just ask Bill, he's our resident wonk.


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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Calendar Savings Time

My fellow Americans,

I am proud to be the sponsor of Senate Bill 11.59:  Calendar Savings Time.  This bill seeks to change the disparity in the current calendar that favors generally miserable weather and regularly threatens our country’s economic wellbeing, as well as our citizens’ general health.

Under this bill, much like we do with our clocks for daylight savings time, we will turn our calendars ahead in January, thereby eliminating both the months of February and March completely, and virtually all of January, all three months which few people would choose for their favourites without considerable financial compensation.  Think about it:  Right now if we could move the extra day we observe every four years for leap year to any month we wanted, how many of us would choose to have an extra day in February?  Wouldn’t you rather have that day in June?  This is our chance to make that move.  But why stop there? 

Under my bill we would have the fall as usual.  After all, the change of season is nice, and the trees can be really beautiful.  Besides, the fall has the major retail holidays, and we need to keep the kiddies in school. 

What I propose is that at mid-night on January 1 of each year, after we’ve rung in the New Year, we, as a nation, turn our calendars ahead to April 16.  That’s a nice spring day.  And, as an added bonus, we eliminate the federal tax deadline, and therefore, all taxes.  April would have 15 days, as would May.  As well, July and August would only have 15 days.  After all, there’s only so much heat anybody can enjoy.  And that leaves June, which would now be 91 days long, 92 in a leap year.  After all, what better time of the year is there than late spring?

Holidays such as Valentine’s Day could simply be moved to, say, the 43rd of June, for instance, and Easter can still jump around all it wants, as long is it only jumps in April.  Affected birthdays, likewise, could be celebrated wherever they would correspond in the new calendar.  For instance, if your birthday were on the 4th of January, it would now be on the 3rd of April, or whenever, as far as that goes.  It’s your birthday.  Who says when you can enjoy it?  And it would make it easier for your friends to make it to your party, since they wouldn’t have to worry about the weather.

Essentially, though, this is a bill that would benefit both our economy and our environment.

  • It will promote tourism because of extended summer months.
  • It will decrease the cost of education because children won’t be in school between December and September, but they will still go an entire year.
  • It will save many cities a lot of money – money raised through taxes – that is currently being spent on snow removal and the general maintenance required on roads and other infra-structure after a long winter.
  • It will cut down on heating and energy costs, putting more money in the consumer’s wallet and reducing carbon emissions, which means that it improves the environment, and who could be opposed to that?
  • It will decrease the amount of those who suffer from flu  and colds by eliminating the flu and cold season, which will improve the overall health of everyone in the United States.  This, in turn, could result in lower insurance premiums. 
  • It will help those currently suffering from seasonal affective disorder, since far fewer people are affected by late spring than they are mid-winter.
  • And it will no longer be considered odd to leave your Christmas decorations up until June.

Plus, if a state, or even a city, wanted to remain on the old calendar, then that would be up to them.  That would be the will of the people.  If, say, Indianapolis still wants to be scrapping ice off of their windshields while the rest of the country, except maybe for Arizona, was enjoying late spring… well, that is their Constitutional right if lawfully voted upon and agreed to thereof by the majority, given that it doesn’t fall into a category of law that requires a super-majority.  

Career Washington politicians, though, tend to oppose those things that the rest of us find to be just common sense.  Therefore, we need your help to get this bill passed.  Contact your Congressmen and Senators and tell them you are for a bill that will create jobs, improve our environment, and make our citizens healthier and happier.  Tell them you back Senate Bill 11.59.  And tell them that I sent you.

Thank you for your support, and may God bless.

The Honorable Senator Leonard K. Bullfinch (at-large)  
6:06 pm pst 

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