Wednesday, March 18, 2009
1:16 pm pdt
So we get a call this morning at the switchboard here at HGP.
One of our assitant-contributing-editors-in-charge-of-pretty-much-nothing-at-all-so-we-pay-him-accordingly-but-he-stays-on-because-there's-no-where-else-in-the-world-he-can-get-a-title-this-long
took the call.
On the other end was this guy from Gogle or Yehaw! or something like that. And he was wanting
to sell us some product that would maximize our profits. So he's sitting in front of a computer screen looking at
this site for the very first time as he's talking on the phone. And he thought we were serious. Now, that's
Monday, March 16, 2009
Lunatic Monologue: First Day on the New Job
8:24 am pdt
Hi. So you’re
my new partner. I’d like to say that I’m looking forward to working with you. However,
under court order, it is required that you read each of these documents and initial each one... there, at the bottom.
You will also need to sign and date each one. The first one is a disclaimer, stating that you voluntarily
took this position and that you have specifically been given the rest of this information. You initial
it now, stating that you have seen it, and after we finish with the rest, then you will sign and date it. The
next form is whom we should notify in case of death or serious injury, your physician, and preferred hospital.
Also, on the following pages, which are actually amendments to this form, are your funeral preferences and your religious
affiliation. If you wish no religious involvement, please indicate such. Do not
leave the form blank. The next form is what is known as a living will. It lets your
next of kin know your wishes should you enter a persistent vegetative state. Actually, they say this is
more for them than you. And finally, your organ donor registry. Please make sure you
indicate your blood type. OK. Now back to the first page, and sign there... and the
date. Wait, you forgot the date.